Enter the Arts Fundraiser or Dumbing Down For Successful Fundraising ?

I have had a lovely email back from an arts fundraiser (local) recomended by an artist friend of mine who is also using her services. She will meet with me early in the New Year , oh what joy if we can agree the time period required and price regarding my re submission, to a the leading funding body for the arts in the UK. Such is the way of things, as I is need to be able to concentrate more fully on art rather than being an arts administrator etc. I had a strange conversation with an artist colleague, after discussing how generally to be accepted as an excellent artist by ones peers , said same artists do not get funded in many cases. My own a case in point to date. I have directly received grants as such for development as an artist bar one for soudn engineering msuic technoly they padi 50% of a £2000 course I paid the rest myself . As I was more of an arts entrepreneur in terms of my own development. He began to recount his many refusals also of arts grants funds. As a result his advice was that you should 'dumb down' your proposals, emphasise how much you need 'their help' to succeed , dumb down a bit your achievements, capabilities and definitely your entrepreneurial spirit in particular, past excellence of what you have done and importantly hope to do, only with their help of course. He seemed utterly convinced that this was the way forward. I could not help but reflect on what he said and how this may apply for next year in an ever increasing competitive 'market ' for grants . I found it useful to refer back to the end of my March 2010 blog !

The Really Big Curve

What a big learning curve this year has been ...so many things went right (creative team champions, advisory group, writing the text, dramaturg, poetry writing, improved social media skills ie. certificate from De Montfort Univerisity used for arts work & to create interest in my poetic writing i.e.200+ people, first poem published in a literary magazine 'Hearing Voices' , the role & value of creative collaboration ) but also so many other very important things unexpectedly and sadly went awry too (grants funding , not being able to access approved funds to further develop project (can only access by getting matching funds) rescheduling dates/venues, Alan Sillitoe's passing etc.

My challenge is not to be frustrated (whilst dreaming of an Apple Mac pro (an essential basic but very important tool I need for the project to create & run everything ) but to remain completely focused but not tunnle visioned as I may have been before and definitely not assume to much on the part of others ! so an adminstrator has been contacted for their services to do funding bids entirely and I suggest this investment is the only way for an artist like me to go. I found one on a recomendation from an other artist colleague Mellow - we will see how we both get on...

However we continue onwards and upwards but more savvy to the ways of the arts world, with its really big competitive challenges. It is a comfort to know my inspiration is ever present. I recently attended an event Upstream for work, but could not help to be uplifted by the artists there. The conversation and shared experiences and my friend and colleague Gaylene'Gould's (Clore Fellow) concept of 'rebel dreamin' .my knowledge grows exponentially.

I have had recently the pleasure of seeing two pieces of poetry/spoken work, in a theatrical setting in my home town . One directed the other not, this has helped me enormously. Simon (he is helping with text and devising ) came along also for the second piece. I realise I have seen or been lucky to have worked with/alongside a number of of different artists - both regional, national. Excellent artists like ,Will Power, Jean 'Binta' Breeze, Joolz Denby, Benji Reid , Aoiffe Mannix, Salena Godden, Patrick Neate, El Crisis, Lebo Mashile, Lemn Sissay, Kat Francois, Floetic Lara, David J Pugilist , Michael'Sure Shot' Brome ' Zena Edwards, Polar Bear . At the end of this year, this deacade, even I am convinced even more of the value, of what this project is about, the people I am workign with ,are more than capable to deliver such a unique piece of work , that is so timely , cutting edge, innovative - so very beautifully BIG !!!

Ntozake Shangwe's - For Coloured Girls who have considered Sucide When the Rainbow Was Enuf' - Shock Film Adaption

Oh well another big shock !!! Ntozake Shangwe's' choreopoem -for Coloured Girls who have considered suicide when the Rainbow Was Enuf' - piece has been made into a USA film . I have just watched the film trailer . It appears to have been given the full Hollywood treatment, which fills me with dismay - I will see the full film but I dread it too. The casting alone causes concern - Janet Jackson (anodyne), Macey Gray (who I like) two popular singers feature in roles. On the Strand radio program BBC World Service, a afro american woman n Journalist gave quite a balanced review. Noting the difficulty,the challenge of a non linear work of poems i.e. taking all that and making it into a film. But neverless she continued to list its considerable short comings. Clearly huge changes were made for the film and male cahracter additions, for 'the market'. This is further established, by an interview with the author herself, I paraphrase here - Ntozake was pleased that her work - (which is 37 years old,) was to join with Tyler Perry Producer/Director ? (populist Fim /Soap Maker) demographics (my italics) .... On hearing this I sagged visibly - with Hollywood (which has in my view completely lost its lead artistic mojo - but not money making ability) - money always talks. This film will go the way of other USA Black Women's Writers work ' Waiting to Exhale' 'Colour Purple' all Hollywood commercial 'benign lobotomies' in filmic terms to me. The Writers having given their approval, for wholesale changes for business rather than wholly artistic reasons I would guess. . It will of course be, de rigeur for everyone black woman across the diaspora to see it and comment upon it. Alongside the sound track etc and the 'bad' black male characters added in. If only it had been made somewhere else Europe say- how truly beautiful it could be...how more faithful to is innovative structure . Of late I seem to only be able to enjoy european /world films - they are more everything, so more satisfying- good stories, great convincing acting , visuals etc. the difference between a fully home cooked meal and quick packet of crisps. So two key pieces of literature that have inspired me for my own piece - in their own way, for different reasons, have come back into the public spotlight - the DVD issue of the orginal film of 'The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner' and now a Hollywood film of a play For Coloured Girls etc. Of course this is excellent , for people to become aware of these brilliant writers and their classic works - enjoyed by my generation and others to come . As they are now in the public domain, more in the forefront etc. But I do wonder - how this may all impact on what I am doing and the project from now on ?

Hearing Voices - Underground Railroad & Rebel Dreaming

Well a really good week , my first poem ever published in a literary magazine 'Hearing Voices' is out, talking with Simon ( he had me out Weds with the HD flip camera filming shots for the piece great !), Setting new dates for 2011 Decibel maybe a 'Sustained Theatre East Midlands (STEM) BME arts Showcase around the same time - feels good . Meet with a colleague with international arts contacts , interested in the project - who said that 'Rebel Dreaming' is what Black Minority Ethnic artists have always had to do. She coaches artists in the 'Underground Railroad' Network .' As she was speaking there was much that struck a chord . I visited their web site -it got my attention. I am keen for her to meet other colleagues of mine and may be do some work with her myself . To get my head on straight as an artist, rather than an arts manager/mentor for others ete. The Momentum Festival has been very interesting this week at Curve (nearly missed some of it !) and beneficial , new pieces of work , discussion e.g. Talawa question is 'Black Theatre ambitious enough ? My contribution was short and succinct (very well received too)- it sure is and just needs to be left alone to be free - in expressing it own stories in its own way , with whole hearted support.

Depression bites then new zest !

I have not written for a while as everything I had worked on for over a year (research -year and a half or so) sort of came to an abrupt halt . Such desolation abounds within and with out me ! By virtue of also having a day job as well - there has been so much work to do there. But as always things happen I have reviewed some poems and text with a view to more tweaking. The narrative story is still as strong as it ever was, also my committment despite the severe setbacks ( arts grant being curtailed etc) . All will definitely help to create a stronger work . I'm massively encouraged (though I just missed a chance to see the piece at Curve Theatre the other week ) Vertical road by Akram Khan which has had rave reviews . I read the Guardian newspaper review and was so excited by the fact that it had some Butoh influences . This gladdened by own heart as I had submitted myself earlier in the year ( I knew butoh would unlock some of the physical theatre the piece needed) to the wonderful rigours of Elena Boschi's Butoh Workshop. I am so lucky to have a bona fide Butoh (Japanese physical theatre /dance) practitioner in my own city. Benji Reid is also coming back to Leicester I cannot wait to see and work with him again. Fortunately things happen at the most unexpected places and times. I went Nottingham Liming and met an old Club Promoter Richard Frost colleague I had not seen for over 20years, he works in digital visuals and yes I told him about our project and yes he is interested in getting involved. This was also before I saw his West End based London company Media Zest website .....oh the joy - as there I found the most divine neat digital visual delights - I was thrilled !

The One That Got Away Saying So Non! & Coming Up ....

So part from postponing all the dates there was one that got away !! I did what I had to do but was more than gently persusaded to do 'something' on one of the dates in a ill advised phone conversation in a state of some distress . This of course was an eon ago and so much been going on in the mean time so other comittments made. But more importantly to use an analogy 'you cannot serve uncooked food to guests right ? Even if you want to tantalise them with them with the most delectable spicy morsels, that you have collected and prepared .. Given the current state of matters . This is impossible of course . So I have to say again NON !

In a meeting recently where people, programmer artistic directors and producers talked in a weak way, about supporting performing artists (like it was something they had never done beofre ) Everything they were talking about focused exclusive on the 18-30 age group . I wonder what on earth -are we to do with those that fall outside of this group ? Europe also this almost fetishistic focus on youth become tedious . What about those older people (we are a growing groupp demographically) with rich life experience, passionate view points, creativity, real artistic power and expertise even ? Those that may challenge and provoke more thorough there art they are kept marginalised .

I despair sometimes truly. On the up I am building up foundations and scaffolding more slowly and surely than I ever before. So confidence rises with this new learning , examination , reflection and construction . My some of my poetry is to be published soon in a magazine. Along side, the fact that I am being included on a website featuring UK post colonial writers/literature, curated by a respected Litereature Academic . I am bouyed by this so keeping always on the up. Last but not least a significant Sillitoe contact has been made as well the joy of me attending an Alan Sillitoe Event Celebrating the Writer- in Nottingham .

House Music Heals - Heavenly

We are all in a dfficult place due to all the government cuts etc., nobody knows exactly what is going to happen . It is time to get down to basics and I find myself revisiting those things that not only inspired me, but also nourished, in their own therapuetic way . I keep coming back to the power of music but not just any music. There is so much music ,that can make you feel dreadful. No I am talking about the magical power of USA deep soulful house music of the 90's. In particular the music I experienced first hand, in some of the best clubs around the world. Those who grew up with this music, now with their more settled lives , family etc. Recall and play the music in the main, rather than talk of the DJ's -which is interesting. As I suppose that was where the real lasting connection was made - with the people, their mind, bodies and soul . This incredible musical phenomena, is ripe for more mainstream appreciation of it cultural prevalence and legacy . As most writing is about the DJ's and labels. There has been very little writing across the media or academia , over the years about the roots and innovation of the actual Black & Hispanic and Gay artists that made and enjoyed the music. Or particularly the role of largely Black singers, the Black Divas - with their gospel, spiritualized delivery . With the power to totally transform powerfully and uplift your mood with a combination of searing vocals aligned with irresistable percussive beats , and all manor of novel lush keyboards sounds

The Artists Voice in the midst of Calamities

Well it seems the artist's voice will not be heard - however artists will always try to make their voice heard above the clamour - for cuts, down sizing reductions , change of remit purpose, opening up arts venues to be more outward facing, job losses etc. how to measure the impact of the arts on the pubic etc. and all other manner of calamities that may come to the arts cultural sector - the same across the board. What is clear is the need to work together more closely, share resources, partnership, collaboration is need more than ever. Those not used to it this will find it all very strange and disruptive . For myself I am planning my next moves, as there is much to re-configure, momentum to be regained and re- aligments to be made.

Always my muse never fails and clear ideas are emerging on the music and visuals front for the project . There is my support team's unfailing comittment, tempered only by the current climate cuts etc. Close Team working will be critical for sucess.

It seems to me it is often the case particularly for a many Black artists on the margins they face considerable added obstacles so the all the arts sector docuementated evidence states. I am happy but chastened by the fact that I have only ever had one arts grant back in the 8O's from a public funding body. Much of my success and achievement were made through my own my own efforts. This entrepreneurial spirit has served me very well to date but what of the future ? How will all this affect the arts and artists voice - specifically those not platformed or championed in the mainstream currently ?

Postponement - will the artists voice be heard ?

This will be brief at this point , as is has not all settled in yet - as of thursday we received and another grant bursary non approval. This came at critical stage so following a creative team consultation. A decison has been taken not to compromise the artistic vision and quality of the project and to therefore postpone the forthcoming arts venues dates in our region. The current arts funding situation, within the economic climate will probably only get worse as organizations become more conservative. As they receive an ever increasing number of grant requests, inevitably innovative work will not be supported. We will continue with the project, prioritising seeking and applying to other funding sources. We will focus on the many other postive aspects to the project, as everything is more or less in place. As a creative team our other partners, champions and supporters are agreed, they will continue to support us in bringing this project forward as intended. In the meantime I have been invited to sit on a regional panel for to a network of arts practitioners. To speak about the artists voice within the arts cultural sector - I am now suddenly, very clear on what I may well say.

Drama Director some dialectics and publication !!!

What an incredible week, I have someone on the grant question re- writing, I have doen a project timetable - feeling vey postive about this (I assist). Then I actually gave my back story to a friend ( a former Head of Drama Director, Performer etc) who has taken it a way and make notes on the key themes of the piece, asked the right questions and indicated where more expansion is needed in terms of the structure. What has been brillant is his insightfulness, his whole inituitive and knowledgable feel for the piece - he seems to pull my underpining ideas out from out of my head .e.g. the dialectics within the piece . This is most gratifying and gives me the most incredible 'creative buzz' He is also advising on staging , visuals etc pity he cannot direct he would indeed be the ideal... I am so champing on the bit ready to start with the next stage ......also this week recognition !!!! A really great review and the publication of my poem 'Just Peachey' this week in the esteemed Leicester Poetry Society, my a reading I previously gave for them was a smash ! I will be able to send out that to the regional 'litterati' and include it in my biography etc. Also sessioning with a asian jazz fusion band , working with a classical master and learning about their quawvalli music its structure. So just groovin' it can never be all calm, something of an IT 'event horizon' at work this morning ....oh well onward.

“Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly.'Langston Hughes'

Today I have slashed wantonly my budgets and retained the bare essence of what I require in the budget for a grants application to a particular funding body. However I have kept those things I need in order to create the vision - a stunning spectacle that is truly essential the style of the piece and its artistic and cultural context. This is purely a pragmatic decison and will require an ever greater determination and will to succeed. To realise the vision the dream is all. Despite a lack of undestanding of in some quarters, as to its merits, as it is truly cutting edge , innovative in criss crossing, various arts genres, forms and ways of working. In paticualar being rooted in an Afrocentric tradition in the arts. My inspiration continues , drawn from those that have come before me.

Moves & grooves as I relax into writing

Well making sure progress with two grant applications completed and submitted for people to fulfil roles that the project needs in digital visuals and adminstrative marketing support, communications etc. Now I just need to persuade a certain person to get on aboard tommorow... to help with the ever increasing amout of current paper work. However it must be said that the European Fund will be a key contributor to this project -so it goes with the territory . I really am pacing myself and things are is slowing down on this front, (juggling so much stuff) thank fully I look forward to the luxurious feeling of creating fresh pristine new born narrative verse plucked from the sumptiousness of my rich backstory oh also music too ... I cant wait !

He was the one all along - Innovation & Collaboration

So I am all set, evertyhing in place the Digital Consultant (some development days agreed) the Senior Academic University Creative Digital Innovation and MA Graduate in Music & Technology - it does not escape that they are all men. I have found the one- to work with who has been there all along ,but now I have him on board seriously, patience is something that must be cultivated by all. Thinking now of the wonderful advice on success in entrepreneurial projects of Levi Roots I am so looking forward to working with them to allow my inner techno geek to creatively flower aahh... The prize - stunning innovation and excellence, a great creative collaborative journey, a dream fulfilled ....so I have set my mind to get the inspire trade mark and ge this money via a regional development agency who in turn get it from Europe this is in parrallel with other fundraising work

A Fellow Artist Collaborator , Graduate & Bursary saves

So far I have been able to to get a fantastic fellow artist, friend and collaborator for the project to read through all the stuff so it can be reformatted and re-submitted YAY !!! got to get the moulah ....Also an opportunty has also been sent to me for a bursary to pay a graduate for 20 days work which I could use for the creative digital arts e.g. the performance platform etc. so I have written to my digital consultant to advise me on this before applying or it. So things still going then -but I am overcoming the low level disillusion allied to panic, about timelines that befell me recently . More ideas coming on the story lynch pins, staging and scoring ideas so this is very reassuring. Memory, conversations with peopel on a whole host of topics in bars, cafes etc or on the park enjoying the sun as I did with friends last sunday- an absolute scorcher that was gratefully received by me - was very energising creatively !

All Hung Out with Frida Kahlo

So today several days after the predictable political turmoil England currently faces, of a hung parliament. I effect to be confident and sanguine, as I now know I must definitely get the help I require from some quarter. It starts tommorow I meet a woman skilled, experienced and knowledgeable in these dark arts, of getting money from Arts funding bodies for emerging arts wonderkinds as myself. Just as in the days of patronage I need to get her on my side in my camp so to speak in order to bring forth this work !

Wonderful inspiration I found at the weekend, provided in a incredible performance by Khadijatou Doyneh, a strong confident articulate and eloquent artist, just re - confirm how joyful is it to meet a British Black woman, so able to utilise all her gifts so magnificantly. However this is a rare occurence far too rare today.

We dont see such artists on our arts cultural radar never mind the media etc, I had taken to studying more of women's art feminist art etc over the week end. I just marvelled at how countries like e.g. Germany Europe in general just churn brillant women artists out all the time. Only a couple of Black women artists are listed in the book I read , no other women of colour included , thus surely providing the opportunity for this omission to be addressed more fully by commentators, driven to correct this glaring imbalance .

On the phone I chatted with a male colleague in a similar situation to myself with his arts project , we shared our mutal disappointment in having our ambition, raised only for it to be scaled down by the circumstances, outside of our control that were not divulged at the time we embarked on our respective artistic journeys . We find some comfort in these conversations with each other, i.e. to carry on with the 'struggle', saying with hindsight if we had all the facts - would we have taken on the enterprise ?

Later I noted a frustrated , almost bitter tone on his part, also curiously secretative as if he had information of great import that he could not divulge at this time. As he felt more than slighted by these untoward developments affecting his work, he felt the political uncertainty would only worsen matters, hasten further cuts in arts spending, therefore the end of all our larger hopes. I was more cautiously optimistic, I had a weekend of fun and deep reflection, this has strengthened me and gvien me a certain necessary detachment at times , to be able to see things a little more clearer, rather than through a mist of frustrated anger . I understand though how he feels I guess we have similar problems but have different ways of dealing with it. For me as I said before it is all grist to the mill.

This then follows on as it brings me into some affinity, tenous connection and fascination with the works of Frida Kahlo. European Surrealists, wanted to call her a surrealist, but she said she 'never painted a dream' she painted her lived authentic experience - infused as it was with unimaginable agonies and her passion for Mexcian folklore. Looking at her photos it is her gaze that arrests you and the proudly unplucked dark lush eyebrows, that give her a defiant yet melancholic beauty. It is these qualities that I find most compelling of all.

Fighting Dragons & Turning the Wheel - Inevitably

I am about to do the inevitable,have somebody else work and support me in this production phase. It is a very new development but very much unavoidable given the circumstances as 'the race or game is on'. I have done so much as to be completely 'fagged out' in the process and experiencing something quite foreign to me a 'writers block', as regards my grant application only. Despite having done all the work and got all the information required previously. It all needs to formatted and redone etc.

I cannot see the wood for the trees right now , my head when not 'turning the wheel, keeping the wolf from the door and sword fighting dragons '. Percolates all the while with intriguing words , poems, staging ideas and the such. I am blessed with a lively creativity , however I am resigned to the back up practical support right now. It is new as my journey is a one where duw to a lack of support, based on my particular location on the 'totem pole' I like others like me have done everything often on my own . This case is quite different, I only have to find the artist user friendly person, to basically re -format my own work in the required way. Fundraisers are ubiqutious now in arts organisations, whether freelance or in house. This raises questions to me about what types of art actually gets made and why as such ? Is it the work that can always get the funding and does this aggregate over time ? How is innovation therefore maintained ?

I am strengthened though in my continuing resolve, by artists that read this blog and cite on their own e.g Leanne Stoddart a Poet in Birmingham. I will need to 'pull my finger out ' sharpish and keep on trucking with it all . The author of the 'Sports Writer' Richard Ford on the radio offers a variety of priceless advice on the craft of writing he says it is 'a vocation rather than a profession' he talks interestingly of writing dialogue, character development, locations and not physically describing his characters much and his dyslexia - it makes him a slow reader but he is able to pore over his words and attune more to the musicality of them. I conclude he is very much a poet too.

He also talks of his humble background and crises of confidence, I now so identify and empathise, with why I know artists become disheartened, apathetic or have crippling self confidence in what they do. In my background and also Alan Silitoes and many others, as we come from similar backgrounds - as to class . We definately did know anyone who was a writer or wished to become one. I acknowledge how this has shaped me and gives me my own rich imagination a uniques view on the world. The struggles and the journey that starts from traversing numerous barriers and obstacles can steel such writers and make available to them abundance of wildly orgianal ideas to draw on. I consider myself fortunate to have been largely self educated and to have come as far as I have, enjoying arguing the toss with literature Ph.d's and MA's etc.

Alan Silitoe - RIP Inspirational Literary Iconoclast & Working Class Hero

I sat watching the BBC Big Screen Leicester enjoying the uncommon sunshine, the intriguing short films and of course sports and news. To read 'Alan Silitoe has died' it was a shock, I felt sadness for his family and friends. I thought about his ground breaking and substantial literary legacy. I am part of that legacy this piece, this very project is inspired by his classic - The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner. I had fancifully imagined, stirred by certain literature colleagues from Nottingham, who knew him and often invited in to Nottingham. That I might have met him even...I had the details of his literary agency, I had tried to contacting them with no joy so far - as a curtesy..well we will see what happens in time but I know it changes everything somehow.... Just I had read 'belief, courage' on a mural on the street , done by young people celebrating the Special Oypmpics I turned to the attributes my character would need . How writers that come from working class backgrounds require these qualities, to overcome so much to write. How families, loved ones, of of the recently deceased need these qualties too. Yesterday there was walk of fame unveiled in Leicester , Sue Townsend (writer of Adrian Mole ) is celebrated and in between the lines of her brief profile, I felt there would have been so much struggle, for her to be able to write given the many challenges that were part of her everyday life . This can be all to common characteristic for would be writers from a working class backgrounds. That have little or no meaningful support for their literary ambitions. Has much changed today compared to the way Alan Silitoe and others like him, in the 50's stormed the literature world ? What writers are doing something like this in literature now ? Alan Siltoe, through the aforementioned work showed me what could be done , the importance of the authencity of 'voice' and the value of working peoples experience. Something I could deeply relate to and connect to on a number of levels . I do not know what more to say now, except that I did connect to the fact he wrote novels, stories but clearly also he wrote and enjoyed poetry. I will always wonder what he would have made of the work I was doing ? Would he have liked it or not ? I will no doubt look at the Alan Silitoe obituaries, retrospectives etc. etc. I had hoped to meet him one day, but not able to now, but I can be even more inspired - he would probably approved of that.

Why Crtics & Art

After reading a really interesting article about critics and 'verbatim theatre' that David Hare has pioneered, along side a radio Forum discussion about human evoloution and art, its universality and the ubiquitous landscape calenders (grassy meadows and blue vistas water present) research shows, collected across diverse cultures, sited as proof, of our common need for art in all its forms 'high' and 'low' . I particularly like the philosopher of art, ideas around, emotional engagement, pleasure , virtousity, skill, 'the hairs up on the back of the neck' moments that define our experience of art I was convinced even more that the winter of post modern art was slackeninge its grip on us. It is a drive, a faculty, even where there are culturally defined forms of doing soemthing, one piece of work varies widely from another.

Then there is the business of aesthethics, who decides sets them all out. It seems to me that critics should at the very least engage with some artists that interest them over time, rather than just cynically pander to readers, circulation figures , inflate their own egos and casually rubbish the hard earned efforts of said artists . Without at least having the knowledge , the experience of seeing or doing it themselves - where and how can 'critics and artists meet and dialogue, do we really need critics ? How do they add or subtract to our own experiences of a work ? I mean human progress clearly shows we most essentially need artists..so what for the future of art and critics how do engage with art without them. I have reviewed my own role as a 'critic' in the past, in order to write cogently about an artist's work there is a need for my total absorption intheir work , for me to even begin to try and express how you feel about a particular work - this can happen best sequentially and over time.

The Loneliness of the Long Distance Diva - Watery Revelations

I had my meeting with my dramaturge, there was much expectation due to me wondering about her reaction to the completed backstory. Anxiety too as we were to discuss my unsuccessful previous G4A arts aplication ... I was relieved that she liked my backstory and she referred to many of her favourite parts , many I myself liked. She is a lovely, very qualified , experienced insightful gifted person, she was able to highlight where I needed to tweak and expand a bit , what she did not believe, the clarity of seeing the narrators voice and the solo characters actual journey through the piece, the idea of these as two separate yet parrallel journeys/paths that meet, understanding more needs and wants better, showing the crisis point ,the actual choice the character makes and why, the different types of truth who is the character actually speaking to this was all great really helpful and took me deeper and happily into re-writing. Also preparing the next process we touched briefly on this next stage and we were both delighted to find we had similar ideas as to how score the piece, how to use music dramatically, the pattern, rhythm and beat of the piece

Her advice and our discussion included acknowledging how hard I had worked and that I had everything I needed in place (bar more money) information other support etc, more importantly how stressful the application and production process had been to date. A big point was the revelation - that I had a real difficulty focusing on myself as an artist of value as opposed to being always the producer (I felt I had to do this to work to gain recogniton and experience ) mentor mode etc for other artists) It made me feell really vulnerable all of a sudden, this induced some spontaneous water works on my part at the newness of of this feeling.

So the arts grant application form advice is sumarised ;-

JUST ANSWER THE QUESTIONS !
BE MORE BRIEF
FOLLOW THEIR NARRATIVE STRUCTURE i.e. FOLLOWNG THEIR QUESTIONS
MAKE IT VERY CLEAR I AM DOING EXCITING INNOVATIVE WORK
MAKE THE PITCH
AM AT A CRITICAL PIVOTAL POINT IN MY ARTS PRACTICE I NEED THEIR SUPPORT IN ORDER TO DO THIS PROJECT TO TAKE ME TO THE NEXT LEVEL IN MY ARTS CAREER,
I AM NOT JUST DEVELOPING MY OWN ARTS PRACTICE BUT ALSO THE OTHER ARTISTS I AM WORKING WITH COLLABORATIVELY,
THIS PROCESS IS BEING DOCUMENTED TO LEAVE A LEGACY FOR OTHER ARTISTS LEARNING

Done - backstory has ending

I have been so busy not much blogging in recent weeks, but I am really feeling good about getting to the end of my backstory - I like it and have really enjoyed writing it . It gives me so much pleasure to know its done and I eagerly await my Dramaturge reaction. For myself, it gives me so much 'on the bone' - for when I look to start writing the poetic language . This next writing stage will delight even more I think, as there will be less words, be more compact and expressive, while still making the narrative arc. Poetry is a passion, ideas come all the time but more at certian periods- I am blessed that way I guess . My recent reading/ performance at Leicester Poetry Society was a total smash- despite some nerves on my part . I look forward to their review in their pamphlet - it all helps. I will become a member now. Getting recognition as a poet for page and stage is vital and it has boosted my confidence immeasurably.Looks like my co-producers did not receive my postal package of the grant application. So I will start all over again copying stuff to give to my Dramaturge who is on board to help - what a relief ! I am getting lots of good support from fellow practitoners on the grant challenge . Looks like devising and piloting digital visual stuff in the Summer months then ! I cannot help feeling frustrated as I just want to get on with what I do best 'make art' rather than all this adminstrative stuff